Closing Statements

November 14, 2012

After some suggestion and gentle persuasion, I would like to take the time to reclaim this space and bring some closure to a heated week.

First I’d like to thank my readers. For the most part, your comments were respectful and sincere. I appreciated the thoughtful dialogue and found myself reexamining and reaffirming what I believe. Thank you for helping to create a space where this is possible.

Throughout the past few days I couldn’t help but think of Anne Lamott’s thoughts on God. She says, “You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out God hates all the same people you do.” It’s important to remember that judging someone doesn’t define who they are, it defines who you are. If we learn anything from each other, the crux of it is always “be kind.”

Austin and I would like to make clear our views on a few things. First, we believe marriage is not just spiritual communion, but also remembering to take out the trash and not eating the last piece of chicken. It’s equal parts give and take. We submit to each other on a daily basis with the art of compromise. No one is in charge of anyone else. Instead we are in charge of ourselves, constantly battling our desire to be selfish with the need to be selfless. Not only is it something God recommends, but it works.

When it comes to gay rights, I hope it is clear by now where I stand. If it is not, I’ll say this: Austin and I not only respect but celebrate all types of loving. Love always wins.

Finally, some words on abuse.

Every nine seconds a woman is abused. The abuse may be emotional, mental, verbal, physical, sexual, spiritual or economic, and it is never, ever okay. Abuse is often excused by the religious and non religious alike with claims that people can change or that the abuse is simply a symptom of a deeper problem. I don’t doubt either of these statements. Abuse is certainly a symptom of a deeper problem and I firmly believe anyone is capable of change. However, this should never be used as an excuse to stand by and do nothing. Pray if you wish, but pray at a distance. Be realistic. Find safe ground and safer support.

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone; men, women, children, teenagers. If you or someone you know is being abused, please seek help immediately. This is not something to take lightly. Abusers and victims, please know this is not the life God intended for you. At any given moment you have the power to say, “this is not how my story is going to end.”


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