Guest Post: A Letter To Moms Whose Partners Works Long Hours

July 2, 2015

IMG_0789

Austin started his first day of residency yesterday with 50 patients, two weeks of night float, and the nerves of a high school freshman who has never been in charge of a human life before. Some say making it through intern year is harder than making it through four years of medical school, but we’re just going to take it one day at a time.

A few weeks ago, my good friend Suzie sent me a letter of love and encouragement on surviving residency. I immediately shared it with my medwifery friends who now refer to it as “the letter,” and thought I would share it with you, too. Not only is it full of wisdom, but it’s packed with the kind of real life tips that are actually useful. It’s one thing to say, “Be patient!” but a rare thing to tell you how.

There are so many professions outside the medical field that require long hours away from partners and children at home without a co-parent. When I sent this letter to my friend Katie who is married to a farmer, she could only nod in mutual understanding. There is so much sacrifice that comes in any marriage, but ones that involve a lot of time apart require a certain skill set. One that I’m only starting to learn.

A letter for the sisterhood who is at home doing dinner alone for the 100th time.

We got this.

+

My dear friend Kate,

This is it. This is your “you’ve arrived at residency letter.” I don’t claim to have any amazing advice.  I only have a few  more years on you as we are about to start our LAST year of residency, as you begin your first. So, here are my thoughts.

Resentment is a dangerous emotion. Everything you feel as you go through this adjustment period (believe it or not, you will get used to this new insanity) is valid. The sacrifice you’ve made will feel huge and so much more than you knew you ever agreed to.  Try as hard as you can though, to avoid resentment. Resentment will seriously mess you up. When I’ve felt true resentment, and I have, I’ve learned to immediately name it and share it with Kyle. Often resentment comes when I don’t feel like the sacrifice is being NOTICED or appreciated. For me, I’ve learned I need words and reminders that Kyle is GRATEFUL for the sacrifice.  You might be the same way, or not at all. My advice is just to be careful and take note of resentment and don’t let it linger.

I want to talk about guilt. It will be EASY and tempting to make Austin feel guilty. Sad stories of the kids crying for their dad, little videos sent that are meant to be cute but really have a subtext of “ you’re missing this…” or a subtext of “these kids are crazy and it’s all your fault.” It’s easy to point out what they’ve missed because of work and always emphasizing how much harder your life is because of his chosen career. Please remember that what you want Austin to feel is GRATEFUL. Not guilty. Guilt does not make anyone feel better. But feeling recognized and appreciated does. Guilt builds a wedge and just makes things harder. It isolates. And a very important thing to know is he will already feel guilty on his own. More than you will know at first. He will ache to see his kids and worry about what this whole thing is doing to his family and relationships. Yes, he will work Mother’s Day and feel like shit about it already. For the first part of residency, he will doubt himself as a doctor, a husband and a father and that is a heavy burden. Be the person who makes him feel better, not worse.

I am not suggesting a 1950’s relationship where your needs are sidelined because you don’t want to make him feel bad. NOT AT ALL. I am saying is you want to get through this together and be stronger for it and I believe it’s important to be mindful of how words and actions elicit guilt. Always know there is nowhere else he would rather be than home with you and the kids.

Create a buffer for extended family. They will not get it. They just won’t. They will take things personally and be offended when they shouldn’t be.  He will miss family days, holidays, and forget how old his nieces and nephews are. As much as you feel you can, help them understand and then move on. Don’t let it get to you that they don’t understand. They can’t.

Share with others who get it! Vent and cry and talk it out. Please talk with me, voxer 1000 times about his schedule, I WANT TO KNOW. Tell me 23 times how his next day off is 24 days away. Here’s my advice though, share with those who get it in an uncensored way, but for everyone else, stick to small doses. Share with me and “the birds” and new residency friends. We will get it!! You will notice others want to understand, they genuinely do, but it can cause a sense of pity and friends not wanting to share with you about their weekend plans. You will get a sense that they just feel bad for you. You might just have to see how this goes for you, but I’ve found that friends in the same situation react in a way that feels helpful and is uplifting. With friends who can’t relate it feels like you’re dragging them down or just raining on their amazing 10 weeks of summer off with their teacher husband.

DON’T WAIT. Do not wait for Austin. I can’t stress this enough. If he’s working Saturday and texts that he will “be leaving in a few minutes” right as you’re about to head to the park with the kids, DO NOT WAIT. Do not wait to have dinner because he said he might be “out the door soon.” Do not always wait to do something fun with the kids till dad has a day off. Waiting = resentment. Too often the reality is he won’t be home in a few minutes. It will be 20 or 30 or another 2 hours. His day off will be switched or cancelled when he’s called in. If you’re living in a sense of waiting for him you will go crazy.  It’s always better to not wait because if he does get out the door…great! He can show up at the park and surprise the kids and it will be wonderful. If he makes it home for dinner, he can heat up a plate while everyone is still at the table. So much better than waiting around feeling angry. Don’t hold him to time. You just have to be really zen about this. It is hard and as you know I am not a zen master. They have no control over their time. It is what it is.

If he’s working on a holiday, don’t look at facebook. Enough said. Try as hard as you can to not compare your life with “normal” people’s lives. It is really hard.  Don’t look at everyone’s barbeque pictures on the 4th of July when you spent the last 12 hours dealing with crying whiny kids all by yourself. You know the quote on comparison. Thief of joy.

Listen and give space regarding what he needs to share about his days. His days will include some really boring things and then some really dramatic and really heartbreaking parts too. Help him not be a robot about it all. They need a wall to get through it day after day, but I think they really need someone to listen when they are ready to release the emotional parts of the job.

Let’s talk about the kids. I have a good friend from Goshen whose dad is a doctor. I’ve talked to her a lot about this and gained some insight from her experience. She has shared that her memories of this time are completely shaped by her mom’s reactions and attitude. I’ve found that challenging in a good way. She doesn’t remember feeling like her dad was never around or missed everything, even though she knows that was the case. She remembers how her mom always stressed and reminded her how important she was to her dad.  It’s important to remind the kids how excited dad will be to hear about something compared to,  “too bad your dad missed this…” This sounds like a no brainer, and you are obviously an amazing mom and will do this naturally. It is something I do find myself needing to remember. It is especially hard when Kyle gets called in on a day he should have off or has to work Christmas morning for example. My attitude completely shapes Amelia’s reaction and attitude (and soon Everett’s.) Amelia has gotten many real life lessons on how to deal with disappointment (as will your kids) so I try to be aware that I need to model what I want her to learn. I’m not saying to be fake, but there is a bit of theatrics when young kids are involved. This is a long time of their childhood and the memories are important.

Lastly, perspective. This is a mental exercise that seems ridiculous but I honestly find myself doing it A LOT. I really do try to think of things I am grateful for, because as you know, all the scientists and Gretchen Rubins of this world are right. It does make you happier to be grateful! I try to remember military wives are apart from their husbands for 9 whole months. As you know, I often hate cooking dinner. I used to complain about it all the time, but I’ve stopped. Because when I am so stinking sick of being the only one to cook dinner over and over and over, I think of refugees with hungry babies and honestly, how dare I begrudge the gift of feeding my children?! What a lavish luxury to prepare my children food THREE times a day. How many mama’s in this world would give anything for that? I could cry about it right now.  These sorts of mental exercises and perspectives help me remember that when it comes down to it, the majority of the human race has endured much greater hardships than spending a 14 hour day alone with their children. It’s NOT THAT BAD.  (THIS is not to negate feelings of the opposite that actually IT IS UNBELIEVABLY HARD. Yes. It is.  Both are true.) Mental exercises in perspective and gratitude really do help.

When it comes down to it, it will all be harder and easier than you think. It will be unbearable and then, just like that, not as much.  You’ll be going along great, thinking you’ve got it all under control and then a month from hell will take you down at the knees. But the next month will be better, and rotations and night floats will come around more than once and you will notice it is easier than it was the first time.

You’ve got this. I am here for you and I love you!!!

Suzie

***

59 thoughts on “Guest Post: A Letter To Moms Whose Partners Works Long Hours

  1. Kimberly

    “…when I am so stinking sick of being the only one to cook dinner over and over and over, I think of refugees with hungry babies and honestly, how dare I begrudge the gift of feeding my children?! What a lavish luxury to prepare my children food THREE times a day. How many mama’s in this world would give anything for that? I could cry about it right now.”

    Amen and amen and amen. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  2. Kelsey

    What an amazingly honest and truly helpful letter! I wish I would have had someone write me this ten years ago when I embarked on a life with a man in uniform! I have had all the same feelings, and it took me years to “figure it out”. This is such great advice, thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  3. Jana

    This is wonderful advice! My husband worked 12’s + as a police officer and the “don’t wait” advice would have saved me a bunch of times if someone had told me that early on. The only thing I would add is:

    1.be flexible and creative with celebrating holidays-it can be fun to change things up
    2. Have your kids leave a stuffed animal out in the hallway if your husband misses bed time. Then he can put it in their bed when he gets home. This way if they wake up-they know daddy is home.

    xo Jana

    Reply
      1. Kia

        Love those! It made me cry too! I feel so guilty that he’s not home sometimes (most) to see them off to bed, but I know he feels sad about it too.

        Reply
  4. Anonymous

    Wow. I wish I had received a letter like this long ago! When Jared was working overtime and going to school and the boys were younger, it was the hardest time of my life. Mostly just because I missed his companionship. I got used to the cooking, cleaning, and child care done by myself, but I really missed him being around to witness life with the kids. I used that time to do special things with the kids to make the days pass (I can’t believe some of the attempts at day trips I made all by myself, but you do what you gotta do!) I also used those years to become incredibly close to his family. My own family is hours away, but Jared’s parents, grandparents, and siblings became like my own family. I thank God for them being so present and caring (like his grandma showing up randomly with food and doing my laundry, or his grandpa taking the kids out for a ride on the tractor, or his sister joining me with the kids at the park). I felt alone in that I didn’t have any friends dealing with any of the same problems. So glad you have good friends to talk to! The resentment…oh vey…Suzie is spot on. That was the hardest battle for us. I knew in the back of my head that he had to do this to be where we’re at now, but it still didn’t help me feel any better when Joshua was spitting up while Caleb was screaming for attention and I envisioned him kicking back on a sandy beach with a mixed drink (I know sitting in class isn’t that great, but at that moment it might as well have been.) All I can say is that someday you’ll be looking back and thinking “we made it”. But I know you won’t waste these precious years just wishing they’d pass. Relish every moment. I often find myself missing those old days where it was just me and the boys, Joshua strapped to my chest, and Caleb with a spaghetti-stained face, laughing and walking down the lane.

    Reply
    1. Lisa

      I appreciate your words! My husband is in vet school and some days I think how nice it would be to just hang up with ,y friends all day and play with puppies! Like you said, I know that’s not what he’s doing, but I start to imagine it and then it’s like it really IS what he’s doing!

      Reply
  5. Liz

    What a beautiful letter with such powerful thought and words! My husband and I both work day jobs and our schedules are not as crazy as yours or a lot of peoples but this letter can relate to everyone. Love it!

    Reply
  6. Patrick

    The writer of the letter is wise. For people who work a lot or not. I’m a guy whose wife did 2 residency’s. Most of those 7 years we were without children. However, our oldest was born in the 3rd year (of 4) of the second residency. The thing I look back to over that time was utter exhaustion. There were times my wife was here in the house, but she had to sleep during the day cause she had been working for 36 hours or something. But we got through them, as you will. Good luck to Austin, and you. I enjoy reading your posts.

    Reply
  7. Em

    This should be sent to every farmer’s wife! Sometimes you get stuck in resentment. This is a great reminder that you are NOT alone.

    Reply
  8. Danielle

    I really wish I’d had this guidance when my husband started his own business four years ago. For the first three years he worked an 8-5 job, and then would come home and put in 6 or 7 hours on his business. It was brutal. We had a newborn and most days it felt like I was a single mom.

    I could go on for days about the struggles, but this letter really helps to put it all in perspective. I know I’m not alone in this. I’m going to be printing and putting this letter up on every spare surface of my house.

    Thanks Kate! And thank you Suzie for your honesty and willingness to share your experiences with us strangers :)

    xo

    Reply
    1. Nathalie

      I too, am a wife of a small business owner. We are entering our fourth year of business and the struggle is real. But I am thankful to be home with our 4 year old son, though I know me not having an income is a major pressure on my husband, he insists I am home with him. I miss things like long holiday weekends, actually just weekends, even! I don’t mind dinner for just my son and I, and I never complain to him that he isn’t here, because I know he desperately misses time with our son. Just keep busy ( not hard, I know!) and make the most of what you do have. I know my husband would give up the business if I asked him to, but I feel like it is so close to finally getting it to where it needs to be, I would hate to not see it through. Chin up and perspective go a long way.

      Reply
  9. Anonymous

    I am a military wife and my husband returns the middle of August. Thank you for sharing…more timely than you know <3

    Reply
    1. Nikky

      I agree! I’m a military wife and my husband is currently on deployment. What a great letter that I shared with our community just now. Thank you for sharing!

      Reply
  10. Donna Baver Rovito

    Outstanding – both the letter and your introduction to it. I would love to chat with you about writing for a quarterly publication devoted to physicians’ families called, simply, Physician Family. If you’re not familiar with it, please check out what we’re doing at http://www.physicianfamilymedia.org – or on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/physicianfamilymedia. In addition to the quarterly magazine, we post a weekly blog. I plan to share this on the Physician Family Facebook page today.

    Reply
  11. Jay

    Your friend Suzie is a wise, wise woman.

    As I type this, I just finished dinner by myself (again) after taking care of a sick baby all day & preparing for a transcontinental flight tomorrow. It was a welcome read and certainly spoke volumes to my lifestyle as a trailing spouse. Most of the time I’m so grateful for our experiences abroad but it certainly isn’t without its sacrifices and challenges. Thanks for making me feel less alone in it.

    Reply
  12. PRMeetsOR

    Hey! – Fellow resident wife here. My husband is just starting his second year in his neurosurgery residency. So if it makes you feel better… we will be in “training” for 7 years plus fellowship. #justkeepswimming. This letter is 100% true- I feel like I could have written those words. Good luck, and you can do it! I am also here too if you need another dr. wife to vent to! I see that a friend of mine- Donna Rovito commented above. We are both members of the AMA Alliance- check it out: http://www.amaalliance.org/site/. I also blog on the side to chronicle my experiences: http://www.prmeetsor.com.

    -Briana

    Reply
  13. Lindsay M

    Bookmarking this for sure. My husband starts his PhD in September…. we survived both being in graduate school at the same time with a baby, but somehow it sounds scarier for me to be home all day with our son. I’m used to splitting the time at home (since I was at work/school half the time up until now)!

    Reply
  14. Ellen

    My husband has been gone… Training for a new career since the middle of April… Three weeks after baby number two was born and who knows when we will be back together because after the training is complete he is moving to his station six hours away and I will be following some time after that. I try really hard to keep in perspective that although this time is extremely taxing in the long run it will make us stronger and it’s best for our family. This letter is something I really needed to read today… After a difficult morning where I was starting to resent him and the situation. Thank you for sharing and good luck!

    Reply
  15. Carolyn @ AdMEYERing Life

    As a full-time working wife of a police officer who is either about to get promoted (fingers crossed) or move on to a position with on-call hours and lots of overtime, I truly needed this. Thank you for sharing and thank you to your friend for the reality check.

    Reply
  16. Gina

    I have 4 kids (one just turned 13 arrrggg, 9 year old with anxiety, and a 5 and 3 year old) and my husband has just been doing 14 hours, sometimes 7 days a week for the past 2 months. He has an extremely tough job that is hard on his body. I was so tired that I have actually made myself sick. I love this letter.
    I had to keep saying… it’s ok it won’t be forever, think of the money it is giving us when we need it. But it was hard. Thankyou for saying… IT IS HARD.

    Reply
  17. nancy

    This is incredible! My husband started a new job five months ago which three hours away so he’s gone Monday through Friday til we move. The part about resentment. ..I needed that. You have one very wise friend!

    Reply
  18. Kt

    After surviving 7 years of residency and a year of fellowship, with only one more year of fellowship left to go, I can say that I think that this letter is amazing and completely on point with how to approach this time period… Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  19. Mrs. Damas

    My husband just started his surgical residency in the Bronx, NY on the 1st of July and I stumbled across this article through Bloglovin’. It was so helpful and insightful. I’m 33 weeks pregnant, just moved from Miami to NY and have been trying to mentally prepare myself for what’s to come with a new baby, a new place and my husband being gone most of the time. It’s refreshing to know there are couples everywhere going through the same if not very similar situations. Thank you to you and your friend for this letter. Peace and love.

    Reply
  20. heather

    I LOVE this letter from your friend! Just reminscing with a friend who had similar experiences I have had. nothing like having your very first baby, and your husband goes right back to work! it happens! we get thru. The resentment thing is right on! Exactly!
    and the time thing is too. don’t beleive those “I’m on my way out the door” they aren’t! just roll with it! Enjoy!

    Reply
  21. alMiller

    You are going to step up and do so much, just because you have to to survive. Then someday the pressure will be off and he will want to rejoin the family in a more active way and that is when things can get hairy. I have no solution to propose.

    Reply
    1. Megan

      This is like every Saturday for us. Weekends can start out rocky. It helps sometimes so choose someone to be “in charge” of the day, and alternate that responsibility. That way I get some structure in the weekends (an extension of how I do my weekdays alone). And other times we have more free wheeling fun days when he’s in charge.

      Reply
  22. Grateful

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. Every woman needs a friend like this. Thank you for sharing yours. I’m printing this to hang on my wall, to remind myself everyday.

    Reply
  23. Nikky

    This speaks volumes to me as a military wife with three small children tackling a deployment currently. I love my lifestyle and wouldn’t change it for the world. This letter is so poised and I’ve shared within my community. Thank you for sharing!!!!

    Reply
  24. Olya Stouk

    My husband is a physician. He works part time. He works 3 days per week and makes only half of what he could have made but it is enough for us. I know many doctors who work part time…and engineers…it is all about what is important for a person. For us family is the most important…yes, We don’t drive new mercedeses like many of his friends do…and when we travel, We mostly stay with family…but we spend a lot of time together and we are very happy…nobody resents anyone…There are lots of part time work opportunities out there, especially for doctors…not during the residency, of course.

    Reply
  25. Pingback: For The Mom Whose Husband Travels | My Cracked Conclusion

  26. Megan

    Hi, I’m a wife of a veterinarian. We had 1 kid for most of school and baby #2 came during the last year. It was hard. There were some 3-week periods where it was like being absolutely alone. But then occasionally his odd schedules made him be around even MORE often. Yay! The odd schedules were exciting in a way even though some periods were extremely difficult. So now that he’s working, however, I’m with the kids all alone for 11.5 hours m-f. No more switching-up. It’s just day in and day out (for him too). It could be worse if he did weekends. We are lucky. I can totally relate to “don’t wait.” Great practical advice that isn’t obvious at all. Also (mild rant ahead) I have such strong feelings about the listening-ear-friend-difficulty. If it was an easier time…I was with my husband, not with friends. So whenever I saw friends it was typically a tougher time. I hated being Debbie downer, but I also felt so strongly about sharing stuff. I think it’s dishonest to put on a brave face and pretend nothing’s wrong. I’d hate if my friends did that to me…yes, I want to hear friends’ complaints. It’s not therapy, but I think it’s weird to keep it all hidden. NOW, I read your letter here. I can see it now. Some friends just don’t ever want to hear it. Some do. Share your vent with those friends. Ah hah!! So obvious now, but it wasn’t back then!! I have so many thoughts on this. Please write more about venting, friends, and such.

    Reply
  27. Anonymous

    My hubby just started a new job that requires him to travel for work so I just became a stay at home mom. This letter is such a blessing to read. If I comment on all the areas I was touched by it would be an article. Thank you for sharing and for highlighting the need for support among mamas. I’m so sick of the parenting battles among parents, this is what we need. We need each other.

    Reply
  28. Sharon

    I just moved to Alaska where I know no one. My husband went from long hours at a graduate program to even longer hours at his first job. This letter feels so great to read from someone that TOTALLY TOTALLY gets it, not just a “that must be so hard” or ” I know, my husband worked until 8 last night and I had to do bedtime alone and it was awful” someone. (Insert “I hate you” look.) Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  29. jrehberger

    Wow! I needed this. My husband is a TEACHER. Yes I know so what am I complaining about. Well teachers don’t always have summers off and all the breaks during the school year. He actually works all the time. He is a high school math teacher at a private school and is very involved, he coaches baseball and is a technology leader, the head of his department, etc, etc, etc. I could go on and on. I needed this more than I know. We have spent so many times waiting for him to come home to dinner and parks and all the fun stuff. Now I know. Don’t wait. Guilt is also something that I have laid on him many times. I needed this and now I will be a better wife for my husband because of this letter. Great stuff. It can apply to anyone!

    Reply
  30. Sharron F

    I was in a medical auxiliary- those can be supportive and fun. I met a best friend there, and she is still my best friend 35 years later. There are people who understand the feeling of being alone in your marriage. When my first baby was born, it was the spouses of the other residents who gave me advice when I needed it. I never saw my husband because every year brought a new responsibility. But I consistently had a safety net with the other doctor’s wives (we only had one husband in it back then!). Go with the other spouses and have fun when you can. If there is no organized resident’s spouses group, then find one who is interested and start one. It is a life saver.

    Reply
  31. Darlene

    Very well written and great advice. My husband is a college football coach. He works 14+ hour days during the season and spends a lot of time on the road recruiting in the off season. There are so many different professions with so much time away from family. It is nice for seasoned veterans to reach out to the newbies and help them along their journeys. Although we are empty nesters now, the time apart is still difficult at times. Moving to new cities and starting all over again can prove to be quite lonely. Keep supporting one another, ladies!

    Reply
  32. C

    What about the husbands that are left at home? when the wife is a doctor or accountant or police officer? seems like all we are talking about is Moms being left at home but trust me, plenty of dads also are staying at home with the kids and can use this letter too.

    Reply
  33. Heather @ WholeHeartedWife

    i love this message. thank you for sharing. my husband puts in what might seem like long hours to others, but to me, he still makes us his priority and he cherishes his time with our girls. learning to not resent is so so crucial. great reminder, I will keep this tucked away for any time my attitude needs a little check up :)

    Reply
  34. Veteran

    Residency wasn’t hard or didn’t seem to be, for me. It was practice and when we had children. What is hard is seeing how this profession has worn him down over time. I hate medicine. There. I said it. It isn’t worth it. As he said, each patient takes a piece of me and now there is nothing left of me. Plus there are always crisis at the office: drug problems, recalls, billing mistakes, etc. This profession is killing him. I can’t wait for him to retire in a couple of years.

    Reply
  35. malhalverson

    Oh girl… you’ve got a brilliant friend there. I’m not a mom but I’m a resident’s wife, he’s been in residency for 2.5 years now, and I’ve been going through intensive infertility treatments, including 2 years at a fertility clinic and 2 IVF’s. With that said, I did it all mostly alone (with the exception of 2 appointments that he was required to be there.) It’s hard not to be resentful when everyone else has their husband by their side, step by step, but I would never hold it against him or even tell him how I feel about it because he’d rather be with me. That’s the honest truth. It’s a sacrifice I pray is worth it.

    Reply
  36. Pingback: Applying for residencies

  37. Kait

    This. A million times over this. It might be the best thing I’ve read on the internet this year, which says a lot considering I spend the better part of 10 waking hours in front of a computer teaching people how to do shit that seems obvious to me. I digress. You are such an all star for sharing this. I’m going to print it out and hang it on my wall so when my husband texts me and says he will be home soon (he won’t), I don’t stop what I’m doing to light candles and throw food in a pan. I continue to do my shit, because 3 hours later when he’s actually pulling in and I’m crying into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, no one is winning. I LOVE THIS!

    Reply
  38. Pingback: Medical School: A Reflection

  39. Lisaksich

    As a recently retired, very long term military wife, I completely understand all of this, been through all of this, thank her for remembering us, and wish I would have had a friend give me that advice. So many tears could have, maybe not been prevented, maybe understood more. I think it’s why the longer we are in “the life”, our true friends whittle to our milfolk and our kids friends are those in “the life” too. Now we’re all watching those babies, one by one, raise their hand and take the oath of enlistment now or are in ROTC (high school and college) and that will be their hands raised. My youngest child and only son included. A very wise friend that I would have killed to have had 15-20 years ago, says We grow our own. And I think those who do have the parent who had the attitude she described. My very best wishes on your future success HAND IN HAND

    Reply
  40. Pingback: Expectations: Defining What You Can Expect With Your Spouse - Student Doctor Network

  41. Abby

    I refer back to this article all the time. My husband is an in-home therapist, gone frequently. Very difficult knowing he’s out there caring for everyone else’s families, when all I want is for him to be here with our family. Thank you for writing this, even just as a reminder that I’m not alone!

    Reply

Say hello.