On Writing Books And Sending Your One-Year-Old To School

October 1, 2015

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I’m sending my one-year-old to school today. She’ll be joining the 2’s class, where she will be the baby of the classroom–unable to sit still or stay quiet or resist ripping off her diaper “for fun.” Bless you, preschool teachers. You have a special place in heaven next to the cheese bar.

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This plan was unexpected. The teachers came to us, and at first I said no until I realized a whole morning off to write would be gold if gold was financially worthless but emotionally thrilling.

I started drafting a few more paragraphs explaining myself and our reasons for sending her, but deleted them all because honey, I’m the mom and she’s going to love it.

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In the meantime, I’ll be here plugging away. This blog is no longer my first priority as I’m in the middle of writing two books, but it is still a great place to post life events, the occasional essay, or fun things from the Internet. Those Friday links used to really bog me down, but now those kinds of light posts are a happy place where I don’t have to think about where the next sentence will come from. Who would have thought curating silly tweets or finding noteworthy links to read would become a relaxing pastime. Instagram and Snapchat (for the most part) are fun too. Feel free to block me.

As always, thanks for reading.

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28 thoughts on “On Writing Books And Sending Your One-Year-Old To School

  1. S

    So I usually love your blog, but I got a “tee-hee, look at me I’m a bad mom for sending my almost 2-yr old to preschool for a total of 3 hours 1 day a week but the me time makes it ok!” vibe from this post, and I just had a visceral reaction to that. Maybe because a lot of moms send their 12 week old babies (and younger!) to “school” for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, because they don’t have the luxury of staying home with them. I really hate the phrase “check your privilege”, but it seems appropriate here. There is also absolutely nothing wrong with a stay-at-home parent deciding to provide more socialization opportunities + a change of scenery for a child if they think the child is ready and would benefit from it, it doesn’t have to be a “I’m doing it for me and don’t judge!” type of thing. I don’t mean to be overly harsh and I’m definitely not trying to troll, but this post gave me the frowns. It seems so contradictory to the general theme of your parenting views on the blog.

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      1. A

        Honesty is so hard—I appreciate that this is a place where different points of view and walks of life can be shown and shared and enjoyed together. There will never, EVER be two of us with the exact same situation and story, so three cheers for finding folks who can relate to some parts of your life and 5 gold stars for realizing that you are doing what feels best for you and your family and knowing that they are the primary ones who matter when you make those decisions. Here’s to holding each other up as best we can and doing our best not to shove each other down. We’re all different but we can be all in this together and that can be a beautiful thing.

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    1. Anonymous

      Another contradictory thing to the theme of her blog is judging other moms and other parenting choices. She said it perfectly in the post….she’s the mom and Eva will love it. How you parent, is your choice. How she parents, is hers even if it gives you the “frowns”.

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      1. S

        I’m not judging her choice to send her daughter to school (or any of her other parenting choices) AT ALL! That was the point of my comment – I have enjoyed her perspective of “we’re all doing the best we can and that’s ok because we’re all doing great”, but this post felt like some “mommy blogger” posts that are more “hahaha I’m making [what I perceive to be] a bad parenting move and it’s so funny SQUEE”, and that’s what I didn’t like – that tone gave me the frowns, not the parenting decision. My kids were in daycare so I certainly wouldn’t have room to judge sending her daughter to school 1 morning a week at age 2, even if I wanted to (and i have absolutely no interest in judging another person’s parenting decisions).

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    2. sarah

      dang, i reopened this post to comment on how much i loved this: “but deleted them all because honey, i’m the mom and she’s going to love it.”

      so many people’s writing gets bogged down with attempts to explain or defend, and i so appreciate that you just put it out there. you cut out the parts you start to write because you felt like you owe your readers something, but you don’t.

      i’ve noticed that about your writing – you say what you want to say and leave it at that. it’s what keeps me coming back. as a single girl in my mid-twenties, i can’t always relate to what you write, but i like your style and your bold words.

      keep doing what you do, kate.

      Reply
      1. Hayley Denker

        Yeah I think I’m gonna use that as a personal mantra, or as the only explanation needed.”because I’m the mom”. So often it’s used for kids, but maybe we should use it with adults, too!

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  2. Helen McLaughlin

    Good for you. I love, love, love this: “a whole morning off to write would be gold if gold was financially worthless but emotionally thrilling.” HA. I’m a writer, too, and it’s been harder for me to acknowledge that “emotionally thrilling” is enough—it’s okay that I’m making jack for my word-strings. Thanks for the reminder. xx

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  3. Tamara H

    She is just absolutely adorable. Sounds like you are making some (tough) decisions, but what’s best for all involved…Eva seems like a bit of a go-getter/free-spirit/strong willed/beautiful beautiful girl (or maybe that’s just my 2 year old who Eva often reminds me of…). I think those characteristics make for someone who might really enjoy and benefit from all the things pre-school has to offer. Two books is amazing…can’t wait…why write one at a time when you can write two?! :) xo

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  4. Nora

    Good luck with your book and don’t worry about the blog. If this space ended up being one long compendium of silly tweets, I’d be happy as a clam.

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  5. Kelsey

    I love hearing that you are prioritizing time for your creative work and passions. I work full time but blog, write and podcast during pump breaks, after bedtime and during weekend work hours that I coordinate with my husband. Sometimes I even schedule a day off from work when my boys will be at daycare so that I can just focus on my creative projects. For moms wanting to seriously pursue any type of work outside of caring for children I think that some type of care has to be part of the equation. Enjoy those writing hours!

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  6. jamie

    Fist bump from this mom of twins who did the 2’s class! They wound up loving it and are best friends with so many of those kids who are now in their kindergarten class. I am “frowning” at comments above from S…tee-hee!!
    :)

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  7. Candice

    I LOVE that you started to justify your reasons and then called me honey and said, “I’m the mama, that’s why.” More mom’s should make decisions that they DO NOT FEEL THE NEED TO DEFEND. Power on, Mama. Power on. I work out of the home 45-50 hours a week – tomorrow I have the day off … I’m sending my kids to daycare. I’m not sorry. Their Papa (my dad) will be picking them up and taking them to his house for a sleep over. I’m still not sorry. Next week I’m going on a work trip, on a plane, to a hotel with room service and fancy cocktails and zero mothering for 4 days. They’ll be with their dad…at home…doing whatever it is they do. I know not all moms are comfortable being away for one reason or another. And that’s great. I’ll do me. They can do them. It’s like magic. Also, I cannot wait for your book(s). I will buy them. Promise.

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  8. Jamie

    I love your blog and even enjoy the “fluffy” stuff. I think its such a bright spot on the internet and from the comments, I can tell it is filled with like-minded people. Can’t wait to see you in print!

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  9. Beth

    I’m jealous! I want to send my one-year-old to preschool with my three-year-old! This is great. And well said – you are the mom and she will love it. I told myself the same thing when I sent my speech-delayed three-year-old to preschool this fall already instead of waiting until next year. Also it will be good for him, and also at the encouragement of those who know more about early childhood education than me.

    I only kind of read some of the other comments but – I love you and this. And dear God, how will I wait until your books are finished?! Every blog you write is like candy to me, to be tucked away until my babies are sleeping/safely locked themselves in a bathroom (jk!) so I can have you to myself.

    Reply
  10. Anonymous

    Hi Kate- stumbled upon your blog through the Instagram world. Your writing is great. I’m currently at home with my two year old and writing a book too. I understand how hard it is to find the time and energy to do both. Some of my writing is at hvmangino.wordpress.com. I don’t blog too often, just when I need a break from the heaviness of writing nonfiction.

    Reply
  11. Danielle

    From my perspective, you’re doing a community service by sharing baby girl with us! You know, don’t hide your light under a bushel and such. (It’s a loose interpretation I realize. Preschool teachers aren’t expected to be biblical scholars. )

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  12. Kimberly

    Girl, this rocks! Axel (2 1/2) would do anything to go to preschool like his sister and I would totally send him if I knew of a preschool that took 2 yr olds. We’re just hanging on for another 10 months or so :)

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  13. A Morning Grouch

    Love your description of gold. Hah. Exciting and so great you’re taking the time to write – good for you and the preschool will be good for her. WIn win. Can’t wait to hear about the books – definitely will be interested in reading them.

    Reply

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