Tag Archives: birthday

Waylon Turns 6

June 26, 2017

Six years ago, our first baby was born! I desperately wanted to name him Tiger, but Austin thought that was totally nuts, so we compromised on Waylon Tiger instead.

Happy birthday to our experiment baby. Our first baby Baer. We love him very much.

birthday video on youtube

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Novi Turns One

June 12, 2017

A year ago today I participated in a glorious unmedicated birth, surrounded by my loving husband and team of competent doctors and medical residents!!

Just kidding, the epidural failed and at one point I started yelling JUST PULL IT OUT because after 21 hours of labor, I was pretty tired. Luckily my wish came true when his shoulders got stuck (shoulder dystocia), and a resident had to press down as hard as he could on my abdomen to help push him out. Austin said he pressed so hard that you could hear an audible crunch. Luckily I couldn’t hear it over my very audible scream.

Of course it all feels a lot less horrifying and a lot more magical a year later. As crazy as it is, I would do it all over again if I could. There is nothing like the first time you meet your baby. The beginning of a love story.

Happy first birthday to the baby of the family. My little fox cub. You are the worst houseguest but we love you all the same.

Birthday Video on Youtube

 

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birth story

Three Years Of Eva December

December 13, 2016

Three years ago, my wild girl was born. Her dad delivered her. There was snow on the ground. Those are the things I’ll never forget.

I’ll also never forget how much she surprised me. When the boys were born, I knew them right away. Maybe it was their constant and intense need for me every second of every day (eye roll emoji), I don’t know. Eva has always been a stranger. At first it was startling, how different she was from the rest of us, but then it was the very best surprise. I’m so lucky to know her.

Happy birthday to my strong, happy girl. You make us all so much better.

 

More home movies.

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Oh Novi: A Birth Story

June 17, 2016

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My sweet baby boy Novi was born on a cool June night after 21 hours of labor.

Things people told me about delivering third babies:
1) The baby will come early.
2) Labor will be quick.
3) It will be easiest one yet.

(Nope on all accounts)

My contractions started the morning before around 5am, two days after my due date. Because we weren’t sure if it was the real thing, Austin still went into work at 6 but promised to be back in a few hours if things didn’t slow down. They didn’t. They also didn’t speed up. Just like my other two labors, things moved slowly. For eight more hours my contractions were 7 to 10 minutes apart. In that time, Austin came home from his last day of intern year, my parents drove in from Philly, and Waylon and Eva ran around like drunk college kids asking WHERE IS THE BABY and CAN I HAVE A POPSICLE.

Meanwhile I never sat down because whenever I did, the contractions slowed down and I was determined to make this happen. And so I walked and rocked, rocked and walked. For a while I tried to walk outside, but it was so hot that I only drenched myself in sweat. At one point I was so desperate to stop walking circles in my kitchen that I drove myself to KMart to walk around in the air conditioning while my family sent threatening texts from the living room. It was a special time.

Once the evening came, I stopped timing contractions and started the work of really breathing through them. By 6pm, they were close enough together that I knew we needed to leave for the hospital soon. When I called the nurse and said my contractions were around three minutes apart, she said, “You need to come now. I don’t want you to have this baby in the car.” I laughed and waited 40 more minutes. I knew better. My body takes forever to dilate, and I wanted to be home as long as I could.

Things Austin did while I labored at home:
1) Nap.
2) Shower.
3) Light gardening.
4) Craigslist.
5) Instagram memes.

Things I wanted him to be doing once the pain reached an 8/10:
1) NONE OF THOSE THINGS.

Finally around 7pm, we loaded our bags into the car and left. On the way we stopped at the diner where my parents had taken the kids and said goodbye. It was hard to look at Eva. I felt overwhelmed with love for her, but also excited and focused on the night ahead. I had one contraction outside the restaurant, ran in to kiss my babies goodnight, and then shuffled back outside to have another contraction. Things were starting to pick up.

Once we checked into triage, I felt a tiredness wash over me. I’d been up since 5, in labor for fifteen hours, and on my feet the whole time. This is when I said to the nurse, “Just to let you know, I’d like an epidural.” She gave the thumbs up, and four days later (two long hours later)–they finally gave me one.

Things I don’t want to be doing when the pain is a 10/10:
1) Watching Friends reruns.
2) Peeing.
3) Lying down.
4) Holding my gown together.
5) Waiting for an anesthesiologist.

This is the part of the story that, for me, usually ends in a calm, peaceful birth. Just like with Waylon, I’d been in labor for 17 hours and I was ready to rest before pushing a baby out. Instead, the epidural failed twice–and before they could try to fix it one more time, my water broke and I went from 8 centimeters dilated to 10 in about five minutes.

I wish I could describe what it’s like to have a drug free birth when you are not prepared to have a drug free birth. Have you ever been on a leisurely walk and then tripped and fallen onto a bed of hot nails? It’s kind of like that, except you’re exhausted and the walk wasn’t ever that leisurely to begin with.

In a very short time, my water broke, the drugs disappeared completely, and I felt the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. Twice I tried to ask if anyone was going to fix the meds, but no one answered me. Instead they just avoided eye contact and tried to act busy. That’s when I knew things were about to get real.

Truth: delivering Novi into this world is the hardest thing I’ve ever physically done. At one point his shoulders got stuck (shoulder dystocia), prompting a doctor to press down as hard as he could on my abdomen to help push the baby out. Austin said he pressed so hard that you could hear an audible crunch. Luckily I couldn’t hear it over my very audible scream.

Things I yelled during labor that I don’t remember yelling:
1) NO
2) I’M NOT DOING THIS
3) I CAN’T DO THIS
4) JUST PULL IT OUT
5) IT BURNS (hey ring of fire)

It was all very loud and fast, slow and silent at the same time. Once he finally slid out, I was so emotionally and physically spent that I just closed my eyes and wept. I never saw them hold him up or heard Austin say, “It’s a boy!” Instead I felt it all. I felt the weight of him on my chest, the relief of it being over, and the surge of immediate love for someone I just met.

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We named him Novi Fox because we are the kind of parents who name their kid Novi Fox. Since Novi isn’t a real name, it doesn’t have an official meaning which means I can give it one all its own. So far I’m thinking “child who never complains,” but we’ll see.

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It’s been five days since I delivered my sweet boy into this world, and while it was difficult and unexpected– his birth story has already started to feel less like hard jolt and more like an amazing and beautiful feat. I’m so glad I got to do this one more time.

Oh Novi. We’re so glad you’re here. You are everything I dreamed you could be.

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// hello novi video //

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31

March 31, 2016

For the past few years on my birthday I’ve written a small reflection in this space just in case anyone has forgotten what a white millennial girl sounds like when she talks about herself. So hello again! Another year older and zero percent wiser, talking about the aging even though I’m technically still younger than Jon Hamm was before he turned into Don Draper/a national treasure. I have so much life left to live!

So far my 30s have been great.

Three things I’m “learning” ->

1) Don’t save things for a special occasion. Life is a special occasion.
2) Guilty pleasures are for the birds. Enjoy without guilt.
3) They weren’t kidding about sunscreen.

Three things I still haven’t learned->

1) Biochemistry.
2) The proper application of the eyebrow pencil.
3) How to make pasta for less than 18 people.

Last year my 30th birthday was one of the best night’s of my life; dinner, drinks, dancing, falling asleep at 5am with my black party dress still on. This year I lowered the bar to reach my pregnant waistline and just want to relax for a few hours without anyone asking me for a yogurt. Which is why yesterday on Austin’s only day off–I threw myself a private one person party and drove around town all day getting massages, pedicures, and carbs. It was great. 5/5 stars.

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Today I am 31-years-old, 30 weeks pregnant with my last baby, and married to someone who would never use the term “housewife” as my job description. I’m also writing a book, watching my friendships and body change with time, and keeping two children and twelve houseplants alive! (Just kidding, Austin waters the plants). Life is full and good.

To another year of learning and not learning and maybe buying an eyebrow pencil. The golden years are always right under our feet.

bday

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30 + 29Baers