Tag Archives: Blogging

On Writing Books And Sending Your One-Year-Old To School

October 1, 2015


I’m sending my one-year-old to school today. She’ll be joining the 2’s class, where she will be the baby of the classroom–unable to sit still or stay quiet or resist ripping off her diaper “for fun.” Bless you, preschool teachers. You have a special place in heaven next to the cheese bar.


This plan was unexpected. The teachers came to us, and at first I said no until I realized a whole morning off to write would be gold if gold was financially worthless but emotionally thrilling.

I started drafting a few more paragraphs explaining myself and our reasons for sending her, but deleted them all because honey, I’m the mom and she’s going to love it.


In the meantime, I’ll be here plugging away. This blog is no longer my first priority as I’m in the middle of writing two books, but it is still a great place to post life events, the occasional essay, or fun things from the Internet. Those Friday links used to really bog me down, but now those kinds of light posts are a happy place where I don’t have to think about where the next sentence will come from. Who would have thought curating silly tweets or finding noteworthy links to read would become a relaxing pastime. Instagram and Snapchat (for the most part) are fun too. Feel free to block me.

As always, thanks for reading.


Not A Pregnancy Announcement

August 11, 2015


Whenever someone says they have an ANNOUNCEMENT on the INTERNET, I always assume they are a) pregnant or b) trying to sell me something. Unfortunately none of those things are true today. My uterus is empty and the only thing I know how to make are enchiladas, and I have a sneaking suspicion that receiving them in the mail would look a lot like a hate crime. I guess my Etsy dreams are dead.

Instead I’m just popping in here to say that after years and years of cybersquatting on my name domain (yes, it’s a thing), whoever was holding katebaer.com for ransom decided to make better use of their time and give it up. Maybe they had to pay their kid’s college tuition or maybe they were tired of my merciless emails asking if we could “talk.”  Either way, I snagged it, which is great news because it’s easier to say, easier to remember, and doesn’t look like someone threw a bunch of letters in front of a .com and called it a blog.

As a logistical detail, motleymama.com & kbaer.com will continue to redirect to the new site, but not forever. Please adjust accordingly. I promise this is the last time we’ll have this conversation.

In other news, it’s still summer, I’m still sweating, and my kids are starting to look a lot like the kind of people I’d never invite over for a party. Loud, demanding, constantly breaking things. You know you have young children when you linger in the parking lot to google brain tumor symptoms because you’re feeling tired and slightly deranged. School cannot come soon enough.

Some parting words of our lady of wonder, Tina Fey.

You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, “This is impossible–oh, this is impossible.” And then you just keep going and keep going , and you sort of do the impossible.


PS: Some cosmetic updates–> You can now find Baer family photos and posts (old and new) under the Babies tab. Slowly importing posts from their previous websites. If you are subscribed to my email list, you probably received a bunch of emails today linking to those old posts. So sorry about that! I can think of no one more poorly suited to figure out technical difficulties than myself, but I’m trying my best.
Back to regularly scheduled programming very soon.

Insert Welcoming Remarks

May 7, 2015


Hello friends.

It’s been a long time since I’ve talked to you like this. As I’ve mentioned before, blogging has changed a lot over these four years. Personal narrative blogs have been replaced with niche blogs, affiliate links, Instagram, Buzzfeed, and what I call “worldview pieces.” Readers, including myself, skirt to and from blogs so quickly that it’s hard to continue any sort of story, making it necessary to write essays that can stand alone.

Sometimes I’ll read a random blog, click around, and still wonder what is going on. Where do they live? What do they do? Why are they always at the beach?

I thought this might be a good time to clear things up.

HELLO. My name is Kate and I like Friends reruns and sandwiches featuring complicated mayonnaise. Technically my name is actually Kathrine, inconveniently spelled without an “e” in the middle, which means a bunch of KathErines with gmail accounts get a lot of my “urgent” Old Navy emails. Enjoy the maxi dress! Now an entire 25 cents off.

I live in a small town in Eastern Pennsylvania, a day’s trip away from New York, Baltimore, Philadelphia, and Washington D.C. My kids are Waylon (3, almost 4) and Eva (1, almost 15). My husband’s name is James but he goes by Austin. I guess both our parents liked things super confusing. Next weekend he’ll graduate from medical school and in June start a five year residency in Radiology. This first year will presumably be the hardest, with work weeks averaging over 80 hours a week. I’m sure you’ll be hearing from me.

At the end of the month we’ll be married six years.

In case you are wondering about the mild home renovations referenced on Instagram, we live in a modest three bedroom house Austin’s parents bought at the beginning of medical school. Because we rent from them–we can make renovations as we are able. When we matched to Penn State Hershey this Spring, we decided not to move (thank you Jesus) and just upgrade a few things. So far we’ve painted everything white and bought 100 items off Craigslist. We hope to own our own home someday, but for now paying a low mortgage on a house that’s not ours is actually pretty great. If the garbage disposal breaks, I just call my father-in-law. Please don’t tell him how to block phone numbers.

If you’re wondering what I actually look like (not just what I look like with 17 filters), here is an all natural photo I plugged into the age predictor site everyone’s been using this week.


It identified me as 12-year-old. Bonus: I still dress like one too.

Things you’ll find on this blog: Real writing on Babies, Bodies, and Womanhood + Pop Culture Posts + Book Reviews + Music.

Friday posts are links to things to read, watch, or check out with some light PR.

You can find my most read piece here.

If you’ve been listening to my playlists, you’ll notice Grooveshark shut down without warning and all my music vanished forever! I was sad too. After many recommendations, I’m learning Spotify and loving it. It reminds me of when I read The DaVinci Code ten years late and everyone was like I KNOW. Slowly rebuilding playlists and setting up camp under the Music tab. All you need is a (free) Spotify account. So far, so amazing.

Two years ago I gave in to the self-indulgence of two Q&A posts. It led to one of my most read pieces on Church. Many new readers and some Huffington Post articles later, I’m wondering if there’s anything else you want to know. Did you stumble here and now you’re wondering why I’m constantly talking about cheese? If you have questions, feel free to leave questions in the comments below or shoot me an email. I’ll either respond personally or put together another vainglorious Q&A post. (You can see the first ones here and here. So much has changed!)

Thanks for reading, listening, responding, and double tapping. All the heart eye and dancing girl emojis right back at you.



Four Years Of Writing On The Internet

March 10, 2015


Next month will mark four years of writing on the Internet. Four years since I sat down at the computer and tried to write something worth reading online. At first it was awkward and unpleasant for everyone, like having sex for the first time. No one knows where to put their hands or when to stop pretending to be someone they’re not. Then, as time went on, I fell into a rhythm and tried to create a space where we can share our parenting and human struggles while also laughing at Jimmy Fallon videos on YouTube.

Blogging has changed a lot over these four years. Personal narrative blogs have been replaced with niche blogs, affiliate links, Instagram, Buzzfeed, and what I call “worldview pieces.” Readers, including myself, skirt to and from blogs so quickly that it’s hard to continue any sort of story, making it necessary to compose essays that can stand alone.

None of these changes are inherently positive or negative, the landscape of the internet will always change. The difficulty lies in recognizing when it’s time to change.

Popular blogger Sarah Bessey touches on this in a post about changes to her site. She writes, The hard thing is trying to figure out when to “change with the times” and when to stand your ground in the place you’ve establishedFor instance, I still love to tell stories about the daily life and simple joys, even though those don’t get the page views or comments or shares of other posts. I won’t stop telling those stories or writing the way I love to write because it’s not popular. But there are other aspects that I need to embrace – running ads to pay for the upkeep of this site which has become prohibitive, being aware of the power of social media, creating regular content that is relevant, and so on.

A few weeks ago I submitted a pilot for HBO via a fellowship for diverse writers. Along with the actual pilot, the application also required a personal statement. The writing prompt was simple, “What influences your writing?”

As I fumbled around trying to come up with an answer, all I could think about was you. The community of women I’ve found through writing for an audience. When my post about being tightly wound went viral last year and recently again this month, so many of you wrote to me about the struggles of parenting young children. If you read through the comments on that post, what sticks out to me the most is the overwhelming desire to be heard. For someone to acknowledge that while this is all so very wonderful, it’s also really, really hard.

No matter how blogging changes, I hope we can continue to create a space to be honest. To be heard. To laugh over our three-year-olds talking about sperm with the grocery cashier and cry over our complicated relationship with thighs. A place to stand together and say, “I want more,” even if wanting more is simply time to eat a sandwich alone.

Our best chance for motherhood, for being human, is to lift each other up. To walk beside each other and say, “This is my truth, what’s yours?” My writing is influenced by you. The relationships I’ve formed with women who walk beside me and share their truth, no matter how dark the valleys. Our most important work.

Thanks for walking with me.


Hello Halloween

October 30, 2014


Last Winter I stopped writing these kinds of posts.

I took down all the monthly kid reviews and cliché photoshoots of my babies in suitcases and moved them all to their own personal sites so that only the truly delirious can keep up with them. But for some reason, the Halloween posts have remained here.

I think it’s because I enjoy holidays, which sounds annoying because everyone enjoys the holidays. What I mean is that I like sharing in each other’s traditions. And while I am not a lover of scary things, I do love playing dress up and eating all the chocolate, making Halloween something to look forward to.

This Saturday we’re throwing a Halloween party (repeat!) which is exciting because a) Fancy eye makeup and b) Adult conversation and wine spritzers, no kids.

Austin doesn’t have a costume yet (I don’t want to talk about it). I will be going as a fairy who went goth for her boyfriend. I might pull it off, but will most likely end up looking like Rufio circa 1991’s favorite movie Hook, which is fine too.

A note to my future teenage daughter: May you never dress up as an undressed firefighter, nurse, policeman, or teacher. Because girl, we can do better than that.

Happy Halloween, weirdos.


Last Year